The Cost of Being Someone Who Runs From Conflict

You are one of two things.  You are either a fighter or a flee-er.  Your personality–the way God made you, coupled with your life experiences, and many other things–tends to lean towards one or the other.  No matter which one you lean towards, however, nobody really enjoys conflict.  Well, maybe some people, but they are the guys no one really wants to be around anyway.

Conflict comes into our lives like storms.  Storms come and they go.  And so does conflict.  We don’t really see either of them coming.  Conflict, like a storm, just appears, and then we find ourselves in the midst of the metaphorical storm where we are faced with those two options:  fight or flee.  I don’t mean ‘fight,’ as in fist fight.  I mean face it head on… in an appropriate way… in a healthy way.  But that isn’t the purpose of this post.  The purpose of this post is to remind us that there is great cost in being someone who runs–or flees– from conflict.

People who run from conflict, flee from everything:

  • Jobs.
  • Churches.
  • Cities.
  • Neighborhoods.
  • Relationships.
  • Sports Teams.
  • Marriages.
  • Everything.

So, what is the cost of being a flee-er?  Well, the cost is great:

  • You miss growth.
  • You miss realness.
  • You miss authenticity.
  • You miss learning about yourself in new ways.
  • You miss the opportunity to learn, period.
  • You miss the opportunity for reconciliation.
  • You miss the opportunity to display the gospel (us being reconciled to God because of Jesus).
  • You miss the opportunity to teach your kids about the gospel.
  • You miss the opportunity to teach your family about the gospel.
  • You miss the opportunity to teach your co-workers about the gospel.
  • You miss the opportunity to teach your church about the gospel.
  • You miss the opportunity to not be me-centered and serve others.
  • You miss getting to have a clear conscience when you take the Lord’s Supper (1 Cor 10:16-17).

And I’m sure you miss much more… I just can’t think of anymore right now.


About Greg Gibson
Greg is a husband, dad, church planter, and social entrepreneur. He is the founder and Lead Pastor of Veritas City Church in Washington, DC. He resides in Georgetown with his wife, Grace, and two children.

5 Responses to The Cost of Being Someone Who Runs From Conflict

  1. FB Message says:

    TYLER: Excellent post, brother.

  2. Greg Gibson says:

    Thanks, Tyler.

  3. FB Message says:

    ASHLEY: Amen..good food for thought.

  4. Greg Gibson says:

    Awesome! Thanks, Ashley.

  5. thekingfisher22 says:

    Lucinda Matlock by Edgar Lee Masters

    I went to the dances at Chandlerville,
    And played snap-out at Winchester
    One time we changed partners,
    Driving home in the moonlight of middle June,
    And then I found Davis.
    We were married and lived together for seventy years,
    Enjoying, working, raising the twelve children,
    Eight of whom we lost
    Ere I had reached the age of sixty.
    I spun, I wove, I kept the house, I nursed the sick,
    I made the garden, and for holiday
    Rambled over the fields where sang the larks,
    And by Spoon River gathering many a shell,
    And many a flower and medicinal weed—
    Shouting to the wooded hills, singing to the green valleys.
    At ninety-six I had lived enough, that is all,
    And passed to a sweet repose.
    What is this I hear of sorrow and weariness,
    Anger, discontent and drooping hopes?
    Degenerate sons and daughters,
    Life is too strong for you—
    It takes life to love Life.

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